Vodka: Why Ukraine can’t have nice things

I recently read Nicholas Eberstadt’s moronically titled article, Drunken Nation: Russia’s Depopulation Bomb in World Affairs Journal. It takes a while for the author to get to the ‘drunken’ part, but he has this to say about alcohol consumption in Russia and its role in Russia’s well-documented grisly population projections:

Unlike drinking patterns prevalent in, say, Mediterranean regions—where wine is regarded as an elixir for enhancing conversation over meals and other social gatherings, and where public drunkenness carries an embarrassing stigma—mind-numbing, stupefying binge drinking of hard spirits is an accepted norm in Russia and greatly increases the danger of fatal injury through falls, traffic accidents, violent confrontations, homicide, suicide, and so on.

Obviously there are loads of people who don’t binge drink in Russia and Ukraine. But damn, if anyone breaks out the vodka you can kiss functionality goodbye.  And this is the problem. Drinking vodka often takes on the character of a chauvanistic jousting match where the first to blink sacrifices some part of his masculinity. Of course, lots of nations have a high rate of alcohol consumption. Israel, for instance, has about the same level of booze consumption as Ukraine. So why is alcoholism such a big problem in Ukraine and not Israel. I’m thinking it’s not why people drink, or even how much, but rather what they are drinking. Vodka.

I’ve pretty much stopped drinking vodka. It makes me grumpy, confrontational in a way that other drinks just don’t. Also the hangover I wake up with renders me paranoid and miserable the next day. I’m sure many of you are the same way about one spirit or another. We all have that one drink we politely refuse to consume.

In Ukraine the choice of spirits is pretty limited to vodka, and politely refusing “carries an embarrassing stigma.” Sure, beer is available everywhere and isn’t even legally considered alcohol, despite brands like Baltika 9 being 8-10% alcohol. You’ll find the odd Moldovan wine, or cognac in fancy places, but most Ukrainians don’t spend a lot of their precious cash at fancy places.

Baltika 9 -- The widow maker

That leaves the dreaded vodka. Actually, vodka is so ubiquitous Ukrainians simply call the drink ‘horilka,’ which roughly means ‘booze’. So if someone offers you a drink, chances are it’s vodka, and chances are you’re not leaving until the bottle is empty.

And here’s the rub. What about the millions of people in Ukraine and Russia who simply have the same reaction to vodka as me? They have little alternative but to drink with their friends, get angry, get paranoid and obliterate any chance of being a functional person the next day. Who knows, maybe if whiskey, rum or gin were an option, things would be more manageable?

I’ll admit, this post couldn’t get less scientific, but I think it holds some truth.